Modern living puts a strain on family harmony, but there are
things we can do to keep the home fires burning brightly. Experts point to at
least five qualities that happy families have:
• love
• appreciation for each other
• open communication
• a willingness to spend time together
• strong leadership
Most specialists say that a loving family starts with a loving
marriage. It's the flame that lights the stove that warms the house. "The family
is a by-product of the relationship between husband and wife," says Daniel
Araoz, Ed.D., past president of the Academy of Psychologists in Marital Sex and
Family Therapy, a division of the American Psychological Association.
"The family will stay strong only if the couple keeps the
original motivation that brought them together," he says. "They need
to feel they are happier together than they are alone, and that they accept
each other as they accept themselves. If
a couple has those feelings, they'll be passed along to the
children."
Love between grandparents and grandchildren also can keep a
family together. Children may rebel against their parents, grow up, and move
away, but when grandchildren come into the world, families seem to be reunited.
In a survey
at Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut, dozens of elderly couples
told psychology professor James J. Conley, Ph.D., that they often disagreed with
their children on moral and political issues and felt a distinct "generation
gap." But love for their grandchildren managed to bridge that gap.
Of the couples surveyed, 90 percent rated their
relationships with their grandchildren as good to excellent. They called this
new source of love a "solidifying factor" in their families and said
it brought about substantial "wound healing." (‘The Complete Guide to
Your Emotions and Your Health’, by Emrika Padus and staff of Prevention
magazine)